Firsts . . .
Today is my son's first day of Kindergarten. There's been a lot of build up, a lot of preparation, but I feel like we are both feeling healthy and ready. J & I have tried to be supportive and subtle. Not overdo it but let him know school will be a fun, exciting learning adventure. We've listened to any concerns and reassured him when he needed it, without being pushy or discounting his feelings. The prep work has been done. There's nothing left to do but pack his lunch and hold his hand as I walk him inside. To let him know I'm here, no matter what.
It was the two of us in the beginning. those first nights in the hospital together, snuggling, staying awake all night because I was too afraid to miss anything. And it's exciting that I get to be with him as he embarks on this new adventure. No matter what happens, tears or smiles, fear or excitement, we will both be okay. This is the beginning of a new phase of our relationship. Some letting go. Some growing. Some finding strength within. On both sides.
This is a time for both of us to build relationships and a sense of community. To support each other and allow ourselves to be supported in new ways. A time for me to let go of guilt and embrace the time I've been given to create art and share it with the world. To move past the what-ifs and doubts and try to forge a way for my art career. To show my son that the work I do is important, that it matters, and that I can dive in and be successful. To finally put the faith I carry for him into myself too, because I know there is enough space for both. Knowing we will always have each other to love and support, to share without judgement. That his story is truly his own and not some kind of reboot of mine. And the possibilities before us both are limitless.